Simplify... Let it Go.

Letting go isn’t easy. It doesn’t matter if it’s an ex-boyfriend, or your favorite pair of shoes. It doesn’t matter if it’s something tangible, or just memories that won’t stop floating through your mind.

Letting go is finalizing something. It’s putting an end to the work, the energy, the thoughts, the memories, the stress – any emotional and physical attachments – it’s releasing all the attributes you associate with something, or someone, and moving on.

But how do we really let go? After we give something away, it’s hard to not reflect on the happiness, or perhaps frustration, that “it” brought us. Maybe there are unanswered questions, maybe it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, maybe you weren’t ready to let go, but forced to because there was no other option.

When we let go, how long do we get to hold on? After releasing the situation, releasing the item, the person, whatever it may be – how long do we get to hold on? Hold on to the memories, good or bad; hold on to the questions, good or bad; hold on to the “what if’s” and the “why me’s” - how long do we hold on?

I process things slowly. I think through a number of scenarios, I think about the cause and affect of getting rid of something, I think about the potential outcome and how it might affect me in the future. And then after I’ve made the move, gotten rid of whatever it was that needed to get rid of, I struggle with the aftermath – the part of fully letting go. Letting go of the questions, letting go of the memories, letting go of my emotions – I always want some type of closure – which doesn’t often is impossible to get. I visualize putting all my feelings, thoughts, memories, and ideas about “it” in a box, tying it up, and then putting it on a shelf. That means it’s still there – I haven’t gotten rid of it until I’ve tied up the box, stomped on it, and sent it through the recycling of to someplace far far away. Only then have I really let it go.

I know I’m not alone in the struggle to “let it go.” Whether it’s an argument with a family member, a picture from a relationship long since past, a ticket stub from your first concert, or the tupperware from your next door neighbor. What I know, but still have a hard time practicing, is that letting go will simply MY life. It will simply MY feelings. It will allow ME to move on to the next big thing that comes along. If I let it go, I’m the one that comes out ahead.

What has Google done to us?

I read an article not too long ago how the internet has corrupted our way of getting to know people. With so much information available in so many virtual spaces, we’re able to find an extraordinary amount of “stuff” on people we don’t even know. How that affects are perception of people can sometimes be really negative, or really positive. Take Google for instance. I love it, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve become a pro at Googling things… jobs, vacations, men, myself. You can type in anything you want in that little search field, and the results you get back are unimaginable – current employment, personal profiles, road race results – everything short of a social security number. Companies now google job candidates, and individuals now Google potential dates (I KNOW I’m not alone in this people – you know who you are).

But do you know what I’ve realized? I don’t like it. I don’t like knowing what I’m getting before I see it for myself. It’s like when you’re a kid – you want so badly to know what you’re getting for Christmas, or your birthday – you scour the house, under the bed, high on closet shelves, kitchen cabinets – anywhere you can think those hidden gems might be stashed. When you finally find what you’re looking for, BOOM!, there goes the surprise, suddenly there’s no fun in the wait to find out what gifts are in store. Then, when you actually do open the gifts, you’re forced to fake surprise, just so your parents didn’t know you had been up to no good. It’s a lousy sequence of feelings: the challenge of the search (which is the only fun part), momentary excitement when you discover the gift, followed by the let down that there’s no one to share the moment with, combined with the guilt of knowing something you’re not supposed to, and then, and maybe the worst part, having to fake the actual emotions when you finally get the present.

It’s the same with dating. And I’ll fully admit I’ve fallen victim to it. Who as hasn’t done a little “googling” when you meet someone you’re interested in? It’s soooo easy just to type that name in and see what comes up. But at the same time, nothing good is supposed to be easy – so when you find a little nugget of information about someone you don’t really know, it’s easy to misinterpret things, react a certain way, form an opinion, and get yourself all worked up – without even knowing if what you’ve read is real!

We all know we can’t believe everything we read online – if we did, we’d all be at the doctors everyday with a different aliment. So why should we believe what we read, or don’t read, about people we don’t even know?

I’m a curious person. And all of my friends would also vouch that I’m also not a very patient person when it comes to getting what I want. When I find something I like, I tend to want it now (not in a spoiled way, but in a way that I’ll work really hard to get it sooner rather then later). So I admit it. It’s hard for me to sit back and wait for information to come to me, when I feel like I can go out and get it. But then you can’t find anything – or you find too much, and suddenly that feeling of instant gratification leaves a distaste in your mouth. You wish you could put that information back and pretend you never saw it. But it’s too late because you already know, and the surprise is ruined.

Technology is a curious thing. A blessing and a curse. When our world requires a certain urgency for immediate knowledge, the internet can be an amazing resource. Yet, in a world where we need to be patient, relaxed, and let things play out on a natural course, Google can suddenly become our worst enemy. I’m still deciding which one it is for me. The last 24 hours it’s been leaning towards the latter of the two, although I’m not ready to say why. But I’m going to leave it alone awhile, work on my patience, let Google search for things that are actually worth searching for, and leave the surprise to be left a surprise.

Exercise + Money = Not a Bad Gig

Last time I was here I told you about the brand ambassador gig I was going to be a part of for the next month. The one I mentioned that I was going to a training for and would not be wearing anything that I had to shove myself into. Well, turns out I don't have to wear anything embarrassing, just yoga pants and a t-shirt, all day, everyday. Then, I walk 20 minutes to get to the store on Newbury St., and spend 8 hours a day showing people how to use a Wii Fitness game (EA Sports Active Personal Trainer). When there's no one in the store, what am I supposed to do? Use it myself! Which basically means I'm getting paid to work out. Not a bad gig.

If anyone is in the area, let me know - you can come by the store to say hi, and try it out. We're not selling it at the store, we're literally just giving people the opportunity to try out the program, see what they think, and have a little fun. The store is at 156 Newbury St. and it's open until December 15th.

Oh. And in typical Sarah style, my picture managed to end up in the Boston Globe because of it. I didn't plant it there I promise, but a nice little article on "temporary stores" ran this past Monday. As the article continued onto page A10, I was greeted with a surprising large mirror image of yours truly working out.

Here's a little more info: http://www.facebook.com/EASPORTSActive and for the grand finale, a look at how much fun you can have...

Yes. I'm Still Here...

Ok. First of all, if you're reading this, I want to give you a big giant THANK YOU. Because that means you've still been curious about when a new blog post would show up, despite the fact that it's been three weeks (or more) since my last one. Second, I promise I'm going to be more consistent about posting - even though I know I said that before. I obviously want to create a following on here, and I also know I'm being counterproductive by not giving you anything to read!

So as someone who tends to set a lot of goals, here's a new one: Post to Some Girl's Blog a minimum of 3 times a week.

Alright, enough of the apologies and list making, and on to what's been happening!

SG26

Girl's Gotta Work!

So in my quest to find what I want to be doing, I've realized two things:

1. It's good to try everything at least once

2. I'll pretty much do anything (excluding anything illegal and soul selling) for money - no matter how much

When I left my job at the Jimmy Fund, I went to work at a restaurant - actually, a sports bar right at Fenway. I've worked in a restaurant before, everything from family focused to fine dining, so a Red Sox bar was a piece of cake. It was also a ton of fun. I made good money, met some good friends, and even got a few good dates. But with the Sox season coming to an end earlier then most of us had hoped, the money faded - and fast. So fast that I could barely afford to work there any longer, which is why I had to leave.

I've done focus groups. The easiest $75 I made was trying a razor for 2 weeks. Free Razor + $75 = a happy girl.

I've been babysitting for people in my building. Some pay $15 an hour, some pay $8. I try to stick with the higher paying peeps, but like I said, girl's gotta pay the bills!

And now, my newest paid venture is going to be working as a "Brand Ambassador" - you know who they are. The girls who come into the bar on a busy night wearing clothes 3 sizes too small and knee high boots - offering free shots of liquor (please keep in mind, I'm not type casting, I'm just giving you the truth - because they came into my restaurant all summer!). Or they might be the girls standing on the side of the street, passing out free energy drinks or packs of gum.

I, however, will not cram myself into clothes that show off every bulge, dimple, and love handle (yes, I have them, I'm not perfect and won't try to be) - I will however, put on a pair of yoga pants in order to sell the next "fit video game" for Wii!

That's right people. I'm going to brand ambass for a new video game, for a system I don't even own. The good news is, is that I like yoga, I'll get a workout doing this, and I'm getting paid quite well.

My first training is today,where I'll get to learn how to play and operate the game (I hope). And then I start on Monday. So to quote an already over quoted movie... "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"

I'm Leaving to Watch Movies

I'm having a hard time being diligent about making blog posts. I guess because I'm still wondering how many people are even interested in what I have to say. I don't want to bombard the few (yet incredibly important!) followers that I have. I also haven't quite figured out the art of when, and what to write.

Initially I thought I would write about my daily life - my journey through a time when I'm not sure what's coming next. But that's kind of evolved I suppose into some reflective entries, some funny entries (I laughed when I wrote them, but I tend to think I'm funnier then I might be!), and some with a lot of emotion.

I haven't really written anything about what I've been doing. Maybe that's because I'm not even sure! My days get passed, I spend a lot of time on my computer - sometimes writing emails, other times writing multiple business plans - brainstorming new ideas for what I want to do, or what I think I can do. I end up on Facebook every now and then, and I come back to my blog to see if i've had any additional hits in the last hour (most of the time the answer is no, it's just me adding another count).

Today I watched the movie "Milk" - wow. Talk about a fantastic piece of work. One of the things I wanted to do when I left my job was watch more movies. That might sounds like a lame thing to do, but I've never really watched a ton of movies. I was always a TV girl. When there wasn't much time to watch anything, I felt better committing 30 minutes to Talk Soup rather then 2 hours to the latest George Clooney flick.

So I guess that's one thing I'm doing - catching up on good movies that actually inspire me, or make me think differently.

I'm doing some freelance work - writing, marketing, and I have a handful of "real jobs" in the pipeline... I just need to wait it out, see how things fall into place.

Right now I'm wondering if this post still even has your attention? If it does, thank you for making it this far. And if it doesn't, well I guess you're not that interested!

The Real Reality TV

I worked in cancer for 4 years. I loved my job, but everyday I thought about cancer. Sure, I was raising money to fight the disease, to work to find a cure, or at least a way to control it. More importantly, I worked with people who had been affected first hand. Family members had fought a battle. Many had won, many had lost. Cancer is a very powerful thing. Very real. And something that still evokes a powerful emotional response within me, despite the fact that I no longer work in the environment daily.

I've been blessed that none of my immediate family or close friends have faced the disease. That's not to say I haven't had friends of friends. Or family of friends. I've known many people who put up very triumphant fights, and sadly, the fight has not always been enough.

I ran the Boston Marathon twice for Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. I did my own fundraising, inspired by those that I worked with, those that were working so hard to find a way to conquer cancer. I wanted to do my part - but I want to do more. We all need to do more.

Where is this coming from? I'll be honest and tell you it came from television. I watch Brothers & Sisters - it's on Sunday nights at 10 pm. This show has brought me to tears. In fact, there are uncontrollable streams coming down my cheeks as I write this. The show is incredibly realistic, heartfelt, something that many people can unfortunately relate to. I just watched last nights episode and it reminded me of how real this disease is. How much it affects a person, a family, a friend - a stranger. The story line involves a main character facing stage four lymphoma. In the episode, her hair began to fall out, so she shaved her head. A song by The Fray became the soundtrack for the process - and the cumulative partnership of the plot and the music led me to this state. This state in which I realize that what I'm watching is a televised version of real life. Real women who are forced to shave their head because of cancer. Real women, and real men - real families who are dealing with such a traumatizing battle.

After working in a field in which cancer is the center of my day, the motivation behind my work, the reason that I had a job, I've realized that the role it plays in my life is large. And while I'm blessed that I've been free from this disease, and that my family has avoided it's rearing head, we can never be certain for what the future holds.

So to anyone that reads this that may have felt the affects of cancer in one way or another, please, have hope, please, be strong, and please make some contribution, no matter how big or how small, whether it's volunteering or raising money, please help put an end to this disease.

www.dana-farber.org